cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
