ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
