I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
