yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
