I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
