Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So many bounce houses so little time
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
