so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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