Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize