but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
this just has baby written all over it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
