so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
