shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
