You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
