I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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