I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
did you just send me my own nude
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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