Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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