if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
