belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
