So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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