SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
