Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pants are for mortals
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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