at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My ATM looks so different sober.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize