You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
