so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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