sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish you could order shots online.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
