please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
