It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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