Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
