Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
