What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
