Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize