Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
