Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
