I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize