real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
