I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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