do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
