You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize