Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
