i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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