The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
