the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
