Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
