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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we're so committed to being not committed
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