Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
