So gin and wine won't be happening again
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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