is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize