Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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