Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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