Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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