I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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