they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
