drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
