i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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