She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
