Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
