1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
