Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
