it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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