Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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