im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
