all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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