Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
