I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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