So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
