after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
