Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
