...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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