i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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