My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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